Is It Okay to Re-gift?

The holiday season is officially over. I hope you got, and were able to give, everything you wanted.

For me, the holidays were anything but typical. Accustomed to extreme cold and snow, I felt a little out of place surrounded by palms trees in African heat, but it was still the holidays. The essential elements were there: good food, good humour, good people. If there was one thing noticeably lacking, it was gifts.

Now I'm not the material type, a fact which makes living the frugal lifestyle infinitely easier for me, but I do like to have something for people to unwrap come late December. Like they say, it's the thought that counts, and if you don't have anything to give, it's a good reflection on the fact that you probably haven't done much thinking. I pride myself on coming up with thoughtful gifts that don't break the bank but this year was particularly challenging. I became very aware of how disconnected from the rest of the world the tiny West African country I currently call home actually is. Simply put, there's nothing to buy here and even the best online deals turned out too expensive when delivery costs were calculated in. So I had to get creative.

Instead of buying too many gifts, I made my own. Basically, I hit the kitchen and baked - cookies, cakes, pies, anything I could find the ingredients for. This approach had three affects. 1: It really started to feel like the holidays; there's something about cooking that gets me in the festive spirit like nothing else. 2: I saved a lot of money on gifts and was able to give my friends something novel they could really use and enjoy. 3: I put on those holiday pounds! (Which means there will be a few inexpensive exercise and diet ideas coming your way in the next couple of days...)

In my struggle to find suitable gifts I found myself reviewing and reconsidering my approach to gift-giving in general and the practice of re-gifting fleetingly danced through my head. I have never, ever been a proponent of re-gifting, or giving something as a gift that was once given to you as a gift (usually something you didn't like or ever use). If it's really true that it's the thought that counts, then what kind of thought goes into re-gifting? But in a place like Africa, where there's simply nothing to buy and it's too expensive to order anything, or in other such unusual situations, is it okay?

Personally, I'm still inclined to think not, but I started to wonder how often the practice really occurs and what people actually think about it. So I've decided to issue a poll (in the far-right sidebar) to see what you all think. Is it okay to re-gift? Did you see or experience re-gifting this year?

Thanksgiving on a Budget

Hosting a Thanksgiving dinner can be a stressful and expensive activity, but with a little foresight and planning it can also be one of the most rewarding and budget-friendly holidays of the year. Yesterday, I wrote about the most efficient way to invite guests to your Thanksgiving dinner and how you can leverage their generosity by creating a Thanksgiving day wish-list of items you would like to borrow or foods they can bring. Today, I'm tackling the daunting tasks of grocery shopping, cooking, serving, and cleaning up after it all. Whew! I'm getting tired just thinking about it.

Shopping

This is where you can really kill your budget. The trick is to buy the proper amount of food for the number of people coming. It's easy to go overboard for a holiday that's historically all about tables laden with food, but is it really necessary? Are you really feeding an army? Then why try to look like it? When buying a whole turkey calculate 1 pound of uncooked turkey for each person and you should have plenty. If you are a small group or if you and your guests only like particular parts of the turkey, the breast for example, then just buy that part instead of an entire turkey. If you only like breast meat, it's quite silly to buy the entire turkey and throw half of it away. But what about that picture of the beautiful turkey on the table? Forget about it. Actually, even if you do plan to buy a whole turkey you should still forget that image, but I'll get to that later. However, sometimes it's actually cheaper to buy an entire turkey because grocery stores run big discounts on turkeys this time of year and these discounts don't always carry over to turkey cuts.

Which brings me to my second point on grocery shopping: start looking for discounts in your local papers now, if you haven't already. Most grocery stores will take major losses on their turkey sales in order to get you into their stores. The idea is that once you are there you will do all your Thanksgiving Day shopping in their store. They make their money on the other items they expect you will buy. With a little planning and patience you can make the most of these sales by getting your turkey early and buying the remaining items you need wherever they are cheapest. If you wait until the last minute, you will probably end up buying all your Thanksgiving Day items in the same store and paying more than you would if you had been better prepared. Also, buying your turkey early means that you will have the pick of the litter; waiting until the last moment means you have to buy whatever size turkey is still available and usually these are the bigger, most expensive turkeys that take up more space in your refrigerator and freezer and take much longer to defrost and cook. That reminds me, before you go shopping for your turkey make sure that you've got room in your freezer or refrigerator for the bird. They take up a lot of space!

The other area where you can really trim back the costs is in cooking supplies. Like I said yesterday, ask around and see if you can borrow things before you go out and buy something you'll only use once a year. Some things you may need are: a large roasting pan for the turkey, a baster, a meat thermometer (though you really should get one of these for everyday use), a large serving platter for the turkey, and additional serving dishes, plates or silverware.

Cooking

Once you've done all the shopping, what you want to save is time. If you spend the whole day in the kitchen, Thanksgiving won't be a lot of fun. It also won't be a lot of fun if you manage to burn or under cook the food, or make the turkey fly. The trick is to get as much done as you possible can before Thursday morning. This means less work for you while everyone else is enjoying their holiday, and fewer surprises regarding forgotten ingredients and supplies. Plus, if you make a mistake, you've got a little more time to fix it.

Perhaps your earliest task will be defrosting the turkey. Ideally, this should be done in the refrigerator and will require around 24 hours for every 4-5 pounds of uncooked turkey meat. If you forgot to take the turkey out of the freezer you can speed up the defrosting process by placing the turkey in a bath of cold water, with the plastic wrap still on. Calculate 30 minutes in cold water for every 1 pound of turkey, so if you have a 12 pound turkey this will take approximately 6 hours. However, you will have to change the water every 30 minutes so that method requires your constant attention. Also, make sure that the turkey is completely covered in water. Do not thaw the turkey at room temperature on the counter. The outer parts of the turkey will be warm enough for bacteria to grow for hours before the center of the turkey has thawed, putting you at risk for food poisoning. No one wants to be sick on Thanksgiving.

On Wednesday, do as much chopping, peeling, slicing and dicing as you can. Put everything in the refrigerator and cook it up the next day. You can make the stuffing the night before to save time but do not stuff the turkey until you are ready to put the bird in the oven. You cannot leave stuffing in the turkey for any length of time at all without the risk of bacteria growth. You should cook the bird immediately after stuffing it. Also, a little tip my mother taught me was to use dental floss to tie up the bird. It's strong, clean and you probably already have it on hand. Certainly cheaper than buying special cooking twine! If you're making homemade cranberry sauce, it is often better on the second day so it makes sense to cook this on Wednesday as well. In addition, you may want to make your pumpkin and apple pies the night before so that the oven is free the next day. Plus, it's simply less stressful to do your baking the night before and you'll have more fun doing it.

When it's time to cook the turkey, the trick is to get it to just the right temperature and then stop cooking so that you don't dry it out. To do this, use a meat thermometer. You can buy thermometers that can be left in the turkey while it is cooking (a pager beeps you when the correct temperature is reached) or you can use a regular thermometer and start checking the turkey about half an hour before you expect it to be ready. Calculate around 15 minutes of cooking time for each pound of uncooked meat. The turkey is done when the thermometer reads 175 degrees Fahrenheit when inserted into the thickest part of the breast. Make sure that the thermometer isn't touching any bone to get an accurate reading. Stuffing should be heated to 165 degrees Fahrenheit before it is eaten. If the turkey is finished before the stuffing, take the stuffing out of the bird and put the stuffing back in the oven in a separate dish until it is the correct temperature. Wait about 30 minutes for the turkey to cool before carving it.

Serving

To maximize the amount of meat you get off the turkey, carve it before you serve it. I know, I know, it goes against every image of Thanksgiving you've ever seen, but it's much easier and more economical this way. Think about it. How much meat is usually left on that carcass when you throw it in the bin? Probably a lot, but you're right in the middle of a tryptophan crash when you've finally decided you can't put off cleaning up any longer. If you carve the turkey when it's just cooked and still slightly warm, it's much easier to get the meat off the bone and you can really pull up your sleeves and get your hands dirty when you're carving in the privacy of your kitchen. This means that you can get more meat off the bone and cut more even and appealing slices because you don't have an audience so you don't need to worry about being graceful. And it's just as elegant to serve your turkey pre-sliced on a platter - even Martha Stewart says so. As you carve, put the nice big slices on the platter for the table and have a Tupperware container ready for the small pieces you'll use later in soups and casseroles.

Clean-Up

The last thing you want to do when you've got a belly full of turkey is clean up. A painless way to deal with this is to prioritize what really needs to be done - you need to get all the leftovers in the refrigerator or freezer. Do this before you hit the couch, other wise you'll get up five hours later and wonder if you still can. The rule is 2 hours on the table and then you're pushing your luck, so just get it in the refrigerator the first time. Also, if you don't think you'll use something within 3 days then put it straight in the freezer. Besides, after 3 days of eating turkey will you even want to see it? It's better to put it in the freezer and forget about it for a couple of weeks. Turkey soup really does taste better when you haven't just eaten a roast from the oven.

That leaves the dishes. The easiest thing to do is to have a large bucket or sink basin ready for soaking them. Throw out any bones and scraps left on the plates and then just put them in the soapy water. If you wash by hand this will make it easier later. If you put them in the dishwater you will use less water this way than you would rinsing each dish. Just leave them in the suds and go relax with your guests. This is the best part of Thanksgiving; you don't want to miss it doing dishes! Plus, there's nothing more annoying than listening to your host clank dishes around the kitchen or the hum of their dishwasher running. If your guests let you borrow any dishes, wash these immediately so that they can take them home, but leave everything else.

Good luck with your Thanksgiving Day celebrations and remember it's always better to start early!

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Two Weeks to T-Day: Planning Thanksgiving on a Budget

A quick glance at my calender tells me it's exactly two weeks to Thanksgiving, one of my all-time favorite holidays - a day to rejoice with family and friends and be thankful for everything we have and all the good things that have happened in the last year. But for too many of us, the financial burden of hosting Thanksgiving dinner turns our attention to all that we don't have rather than all that we do. In an effort to have a little more left on Thanksgiving to be thankful for, I've put together a two part check-list of things to make Thanksgiving Day preparations cheaper and easier. The first part is about arranging invitations and getting your guests to bring the things you really need. Tomorrow I'll post the second half which will cover everything to do with shopping for and cooking the food.

T-Day Part One: Invitations

If you're hosting a small dinner just for immediate family or a few friends, consider yourself lucky! There's less food to buy, less food to prepare, and less to clean up when it's all over. Last year I hosted Thanksgiving dinner for 28 people - never again! (Or at least not too soon. I need a few years to forget.) You can probably manage inviting everyone by phone or in person. Chances are, it's probably already clear who is eating where.

But if you're hosting a dinner for a large number of people you probably want to send formal invitations with RSVP requests. Send them now! You'll want to set an RSVP date by next Thursday (at least one week in advance) so that you have enough time to buy the necessary amount of food. I suggest sending your invitations online. It's cheaper, faster, and your guests can RSVP immediately. You can either send out a regular email or be a little more fancy and set up a free account at sendaninvite.com where you can make a custom invitation with maps, "what to bring" lists and use of their online RSVP management system.

About that "what to bring" list, I've always felt it was a bit tacky to ask people to bring something to a Thanksgiving dinner, but at the same time, I've always felt it was even tackier to attend such an event empty handed. As the host, you don't want to be rude, but you also don't want to be stuck with a big hole in your budget and 10 bottles of red wine when you really only drink white. So what is the frugal host to do? Is there a polite way to leverage your guests generosity without being pushy?

Last year, when I did dinner for 28 people, I was lucky enough to be in Denmark where it is customary for guests to share the costs of a dinner party by giving their host a set amount of cash, determined in advance. It's a strange custom and it took some getting used to, but come Thanksgiving, I was happy to take part in it. Obviously, I'm not suggesting you ask your guests to fund your grocery shopping, but you can take people up on their offers to bring things. Undoubtedly, your closest friends and family members will ask you if they can bring anything; it's just polite. But instead of saying, "Oh no... maybe just something to drink" like you usually do, have a wish list ready and pick something off of it. Maybe they can bring salad, a pie, or they can lend you a roasting pan so that you don't have to buy one. Or maybe you could use some extra serving dishes?

A lot of the costs of hosting a Thanksgiving dinner go into buying kitchen items you don't normally use, like a roasting pan, meat thermometer, or 5 extra serving bowls. Borrowing these things from friends and family can cut your total costs and keep your kitchen clutter free after T-Day. So sit down, make a wish list, and this year take your guests up on those polite offers. It might surprise them a little at first, but if they've bothered to offer it's because they're going to bring something anyway, and, believe it or not, your guests would rather lend you their pan and feel truly useful than buy you a bottle of wine.

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Remember What You Learned from Your Allowance (and Why Kids Still Need Allowance Today)

Can you remember what it was like to be a kid and really, really want something? To feel like all your future happiness hinged on your ability to get your hands on that one item, be it a pony, a bicycle or a comic book? To look forward to the next gift-giving holiday with hope and worry? To empty your piggy bank, count, recount and calculate how many more months allowance you still needed? Of course you can. And you can probably remember exactly what it was that you were saving up for. For me, it was a horse. And I'm certain that you can remember whether or not you ever managed to get it. Me? I didn't.

But no matter what the details of your memories, happy or sad, you learned something from them. In a nutshell, you learned about money - what it can and can't buy, how it doesn't grow on trees, and why you need to be careful about when and where you spend it. Simple lessons learned in a simple way, at a simple time in life.

Sometimes I wonder if the emotions people attach to their allowance-related memories aren't drowning out the lessons. So often what we remember most is the disappointment of unfulfilled dreams, or the weeks, months or years we spent feeling like have-nots. These negative feelings tempt us to forget the valuable lessons connected to them, and it seems to me like too many people are giving in to their temptations, turning a blind eye to the lessons they once knew, and vowing that their children will never want for anything.

Not all life's lessons are pleasant to learn, but that doesn't change the fact that it's still better to live through them when you've still got time to learn from them. Not getting that horse as a kid has, in the long run, made me a lot happier than I would have been if my parents had spent way, way beyond their means to see my dream come true. For one thing, our already-tight family budget would have snapped and I'm sure my parents would have snapped too. I wouldn't have learned how to save because I wouldn't have had to pull $8 from my piggy bank- two weeks allowance - for each horseback riding lesson. Later, when I was big enough, I'd learn a little bit more about work by helping out at the horse farm in exchange for free lessons. And in the end, after years of working on the farm and riding, I realised that horses live longer than my dream was going to and that I'd been having the same experience, or maybe even a better one, than my horse-owning friends who were now stuck with a very expensive pet they couldn't take to college with them.

Two summer camp experiences stick out in my mind. The first was when I was about 10 years old, at a day camp for Girl Scouts. I remember explaining the agreement my parents and I had about my horseback riding lessons to an inquisitive camp counselor. Actually, I think it was the camp director. She was amazed that I was willing to forfeit all my allowance money (and all the candy, toys and whatever else kids spend their money on) for one half hour of horseback riding twice a month. I was amazed that she was so amazed, amazed enough that I still remember the conversation. I thought that was just the way things were; everyone had to prioritize their desires/needs and make sacrifices You couldn't have everything.

In retrospect, I still think that's the way things are - we do have to prioritize and make sacrifices - but I'm a lot less surprised that my camp director was so shocked that I, at the age of 10, seemed to know this. Ten years later, I would be the camp employee shocked by what kids do and don't know about money. I spent a few summers working at an academic summer program, a cross between a summer school and a summer camp. I was the "Supply Office" manager, responsible for the program's entire inventory and purchasing of classroom supplies. I know that doesn't sound like much, but the program was home to 700 kids for six straight weeks and the number of classes was somewhere around 300, each with its own budget, and many with titles like "Cooking with Chemistry" or "Fashion Design - Make Your Own Clothes" requiring a lot of supplies. If an instructor needed a box of paper clips or a lemon, they came to me so that I could check through their budget to see if they had enough money to make the purchase. If they did, I put their request on the shopping list for my staff to buy. There were a lot of boxes of paper clips and a lot of lemons... And rocket engines and pink lace and whiffle ball bats and clown noses and frozen turkeys.

And then there were the bogus requests. One of my favorites was a requisition for liquid nitrogen and no, that wasn't a joke; someone was really expecting me to get it for their class. But more frequently the bogus requests came from instructors (all college students) who obviously never had an allowance as a child and weren't paying for their tuition, meal plan, books or toothpaste. Once an architecture instructor asked me to get something like $75 worth of foam board for a one time activity when he only had a budget of $100 for the entire 6 weeks! I remember fighting with him, trying to convince him that even though using plain tag board wouldn't work quite as well for the activity it was still better than having no money or supplies left for the rest of the summer. Not long after, my staff and I adopted the Rolling Stones' "You Can't Always Get What You Want" as our official office theme song.

Too many of the kids attending the summer program were a kind of spoilt I could never have imagined. They would roll in on the first day with an entire set of authentic Louis Vuitton luggage and turn their noses up at the college dorm rooms they were expected to sleep in, leading me to wonder how they were going to get through the summer. The thing about kids is that they're very good at adapting. The first few days were always tough, but most of them made it through just fine without their Starbucks, cell phones or favorite evening meal. Yet I pale to think how quickly these same kids adapted right back to their old lifestyles upon returning home.

So the moral of the story is this: allowance is good, not bad! Remember the lessons you learned from it and if you have kids of your own, do them the same favor your parents did you and be tough about allowance. As soon as your children are mature enough to understand the cause and effect relationships of money (probably sometime between the ages of 8 and 10), set a weekly amount, clear requirements for "earning" the allowance, and boundaries about what kinds of things your children are expected to buy for themselves. And then, stick to those boundaries.

This is the hard part. For example, if your son is saving up for something he will probably have to give up other things he wants; you need to be willing to watch him go without. Don't "reward" him by giving him extra money or buying him the things he is giving up. To do so would be to completely undermine the lessons of allowance. He is supposed to realise that if he spends all his allowance on a pair of fancy sneakers, he won't have any money left to go to the movies that weekend and show off those snazzy new shoes. Instead, reward his good budgeting behavior by giving him additional privileges and freedoms regarding his money (maybe let him buy those concert tickets, etc.) By doing so you also give him additional opportunities to learn how to be responsible with his money.

It won't be easy, especially if your family's finances allow room for occasional splurges, but when you're tempted to stray from your own rules, just remember, you're probably in this position because you learned about money as a kid. And if you don't find yourself rolling in extra cash, then setting a budget for your kids (and for yourself regarding what you'll spend on luxury items for them) can help you balance your own household budget and adopt frugality as an entire family commitment.

I wasn't a genius at age 10 (some things never change) just because I knew that I needed to prioritize my wants and needs; I was just lucky - lucky that my parents had stood firm and taught me the lessons of allowance.

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A Couple Last Minute, Cheap Halloween Costume Ideas

Did Halloween catch you by surprise this year? Perhaps your dog ate the costume? Well, here are a few quick costume ideas you can throw together without spending much or running to a million different stores. I've listed some pros and cons for each costume idea below its instructions. Just remember, these are quick fixes; they won't win you any costume awards. So be willing to use your imagination!

MIME

Just in case you can't remember, mimes are those creepy silent clowns that are always stuck in an imaginary box.

What you'll need:

• Black long sleeve shirt, or black and white striped shirt if you have it
• Gloves, preferably white, but can be any color
• White make-up
• Black make-up
• Some acting skills!
  

Step 1. Do your make-up. First, paint your face white, then color your lips in black and draw black triangles above and below your eyes. Look for pictures of mimes online to get the idea. I suggest doing a Google image search.

Step 2. Put on your black clothes.

Step 3. Don't forget to stay in character and keep quiet!

Pros: With very little effort you can put together a good look. Everyone will know what you are supposed to be and it's a comfortable costume.
Cons: You'll have to stay in character. You probably don't have the make-up on hand and will have to make a trip to the store and fork over a few bucks.

SCARECROW

What you'll need:

• A pair of baggy old pants/jeans and a long-sleeve shirt, the
  bigger the better. Flannel or plaid button-down shirts work best.
• A large brown paper bag, the thinner the paper the better
• Some very thick string, like yarn, twine or hemp, and preferably brown colored.
• Dried leaves from outside, or, if you can find it, straw.
  

Step 1. Put on the baggy clothes. If you don't mind getting them a little dirty, throw some mud or dirt on them first. Remember, you're a scarecrow - you're supposed to have been outside all the summer. You may want to consider wearing another set of thinner, tighter clothes underneath to protect yourself for...

Step 2. Go outside and get those dried leaves (or straw). Now stuff your clothes full with them and use the string/twine to tie off the openings at your ankles and wrists to keep the leaves from falling out. You can try tying the string around your waist as well , but tucking your shirt in is probably best. Make sure some leaves are poking out by your hands and feet and around the buttons of your shirt. If you can think of something cleaner and more comfortable to stuff your clothes with use that instead and just put the leaves around the edges for show.

Step 3. Take the paper bag and cut holes for your mouth and eyes. Put it on your head and tie a piece of twine around your neck. If you can, glue some leaves to the ends of the paper bag around your neck so that they stick out from underneath.

Step 4. Top it all off with a hat, a pair of gloves, and a pair of boots if you have them. Make sure you've got leaves or straw poking out everywhere you can.

Pros: It shouldn't cost you a dime, you probably won't have to make a trip to the store, and it requires less than 15 minutes to put together.
Cons: Leaves are itchy and it will be difficult to walk. Also, the leaves will start falling out after awhile, particularly if you're moving a lot, so this probably isn't the best costume for trick-or-treating. Maybe you can think of ways to tweak it? Let us know if you do!

SPORTS PLAYERS

What you'll need:

• Sports clothing
• Sports equipment

Step 1. Dress up in your (or your friend's) sports clothes. If you're a soccer player, wear shorts, a t-shirt and shin-guards. If your a tennis player, wear wrist bands. You get the idea.

Step 2. Remember to carry any necessary sports equipment around with you, for example, a soccer ball or tennis racket.

Pros: If you or a close friend plays a sport, you've already got all the stuff on hand. You can throw together this costume in less than 5 minutes.
Cons: It's not really a costume if you wear and use these things on a regular basis, but if you borrow the stuff from a friend you might be able to get away with it. For this reason, this idea might be more suitable for trick-or-treating, when people are unlikely to know the person wearing the costume anyway. But remember, it might be cold walking around in shorts on the last night of October!

Good luck with your costumes and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

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Save on Soap

Save money by spending less on dish-soap. The less soap you use, the less often you have to buy a new bottle.

How to do it: Instead of squeezing soap directly onto a sponge, spray your dishes with a soap-water solution from a spray bottle. Put a small amount of soap into a plastic spray bottle, then fill the bottle with water. Experiment by spraying some soap onto a dirty plate to see if your solution is strong enough. If not, add a little more soap and repeat until the mixture is strong enough to be just noticeably soapy. When you wash dishes, simply spritz them with the solution in the spray bottle and use a wet sponge to rub them clean.

To help you remember to use the spray bottle, put your old soap container away and leave the spray bottle in its place. This idea is also great if you have kids as they tend to have difficulties rationing soap.

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Online Comparison Shopping

Online shopping is a great way to save money, especially when you're buying something expensive like a computer, but if you're not careful, shipping costs can kill the deal.

Comparison shopping sites like shopping.com, BizRate, PriceGrabber, and Yahoo Shopping make finding deals easier than ever, but shoppers new to e-commerce may forget to think about shipping costs. Be aware that the store advertising the cheapest price may not actually be your cheapest purchasing option. Make sure to compare the total purchase price for an item (cost of item + shipping and handling) when choosing your online vendor. Better yet, look for stores that offer free shipping.

Here's an example to prove my point:

I compared the Sony Cyber-shot DSC-N2 Digital Camera on Yahoo Shopping.

The first two stores listed in my search results were butterflyphoto and B&H Photo. Yahoo Shopping listed B&H Photo as offering the cheaper price at $309.95 for the camera compared with butterflyphoto's $312.

I clicked on the links to each store and discovered that they both display an easy "calculate shipping" button. The cheapest shipping option B&H offers would cost me $9.40. Butterflyphoto ships the camera for free. Therefore:

My total cost at B&H Photo = $319.35 ($309.95 for camera + $9.40 for shipping)
My total cost at butterflyphoto = $312.00 ($312 for camera + $0 for shipping)

In the end, it would be $7.35 cheaper for me to buy the camera from butterflyphoto than to buy it from B&H Photo, even though my Yahoo Shopping search results made it look as though B&H Photo was offering the best deal.

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